Learn to forgive yourself

Ego: the idea or opinion that you have of yourself, especially the level of your ability and intelligence and your importance as a person.

I was talking yesterday about not forgiving myself. Well… that was a whole new journey. Ego was the thing that played a huge part in stopping forgiveness. Until that moment, I didn’t really face challenges. I got a few bad grades, faced some rejection, broke a few friendships and that was it. For the most part, my life was good. 

The way that I saw things, at that time, was that I failed at keeping the relationship going. I didn’t understand that it was a wrong way of looking at things. I wasn’t perfect, lacked in a lot of aspects and I didn’t know many things. I’m not writing this to complain, I want to let you know that you’re not alone. I’m sure there’s someone out there who perceived things the same way I did.

“What did you do exactly to forgive yourself?”

This was a hard part in my life, way harder than the breakup in itself. 

The short answer is: “growth”. 

The long answer is that I had to make sure I understood exactly what and why it went wrong. After that, I broke down everything in small pieces. I’m an extremely detailed person and I needed to… ok I wanted to think about every aspect and play a few scenarios in my head to make sure I’m on the right track. 

“How did you know you were on the right track if you went with your scenarios?”

Because they were based on facts. I looked at things from a lot of angles, learned new things along the way and there weren’t a lot of other plausible explanations.

In no way, shape or form I recommend people doing this, because it’s going to break you.

“Why did you do it then?” 

Because I didn’t know any better. I could have done way better things with my time, but hey… it happens. I have no regrets, I learned a ton, about myself, relationships, people, life.